Jokes
When a student listen to too much music!
Mr. Eric was walking around the form 3 block when he saw one of the form 3 class, 3'T', making noise. He entered the classroom and this is what happened....
Mr. Eric: Who was playing and talking please stand up or the whole class gets it.
Anand : "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"(Eminem)
Mr. Eric: You! I want you to come to my office now Office
Time: 0900 hrs
Mr.Eric: What Is Your name?
Anand : "Say My Name Say My Name"(Destiny's Child)
Mr.Eric: Don't play a fool
Anand : "Can't Believe I'm The Fool Again"(Westlife)
Mr.Eric: Do you want me to beat you ?
Anand : "Hit Me Baby One More Time"(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: What did u say?
Anand : "WHAT!"(Stone Cold)
Mr.Eric: Are you out of your head?
Anand : "I Can't Get U Outta My Head"(Kylie Minogue)
Mr.Eric: Who do you think you are ?
Anand : "I'm A Genie In Bottle"(Christina Aguilera)
Mr.Eric: How many demerits do you want?
Anand : "1,2,345,Everybody In The Car..."(Lou Bega)
Mr.Eric: Do you always play in class?
Anand : "Sometimes I Run, Sometimes I..."(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: Do u think this is a party ?
Anand : "I'm Coming Up So U Better Get The Party Started"(Pink)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come for detention class tomorrow morning
Anand : "Every Morning They're A Hello..."(Sugar Ray)
Mr.Eric: I've just changed my mind. I want you to come everyday
Aanad : "Everyday I Love You"(Boyzone)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come alone
Anand : "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"(Backstreet Boys)
Mr.Eric: It gonna be the two of us
Anand : "Just The Two Of Us"(Will Smith)
Mr.Eric: Are you going to shut up or do you want me to stop talking
Anand : "You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All"(Ronan Keating)
Mr.Eric: I want you to promise me that you won't get into anymore trouble.
Anand : "This I Promise You"(N*sync)
Mr.Eric: Make Sure you don't get into trouble again
Anand : "Oops I Did It Again"(Britney Spears)
Mr.Eric: You can go now
Anand : "There She Goes"(Sixpence None The Richer)
Mr.Eric: I said go!
Anand : "Bye Bye Bye"(N*sync)
P.S: I think this joke's one of the best. Haha.
*******
> > > A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an
> > > oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.
> > >
> > > They then get to meet their maker, and because of
> > > the grief they have experienced; he decides to
> > > grant them one wish each before they enter
> > > Paradise.
> > >
> > > They're all lined up, and God asks the first one
> > > what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so
> > > God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second
> > > one in line hears this and says "I want to be
> > > gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and
> > > the wish is granted.
> > >
> > > This goes on for a while but when God is halfway
> > > down the line, the last guy in the line starts
> > > laughing. When there are only ten people left,
> > > this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his
> > > head off.
> > >
> > > Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him
> > > what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms
> > > down and says:
> > >
> > > "Make 'em all ugly again".
> > >
> > > SO...............................................
> > > THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'..............
> > > CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***************
There was once a couple...The husband is
quite a
dumb person...
Wife : You wanna hav sex?
Husband : But we will hav a child...
Wife : We are married...
Husband : Oh yeah...So,you wanna use
condom?
Wife : But we are married...
Husband : Oh...Rite...
But the husband is too dumb to
understand...So,he went to a shop which sells
condoms...He brought with him $0.50...There
are
3 types of condoms...
1st type : White Condom($0.40)
2nd type : Black Condom($0.50)
3rd type : Glow-In-The-Dark Condom($0.60)
So,the husband decided to buy the Black
Condom which costs $0.50...But,while he was
away,his wife was raped by an Indian
man...So,when he got home,he did ble with his
wife...
After a month or so,they got a son...But 1
problem
is that the son is black like a
charcoal...Well,you
should know whose father it is...It's the Indian
man
who raped the man's wife...
The son was miserable because at school,he
was
always called blackie or charcoal...So,one
day,he
asked his mother...
Son : Mother,why am I so black??? Everyone
at
school calls me blackie and charcoal...
But the wife refused to answer anything...She
only
said to the boy to go and asked the
father...So,while the father was reading his
newspaper,the son asked...
Son :Father,Why am I so black???
Husband :Can you just shut up???!!!
But the son continued to annoy and irritate the
father...At last,the father shouted...
"IF I HAVE SPENT $0.60,YOU WILL BE
GLOWING IN THE DARK~!!!"
*****************
Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that.But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8.
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old lady : Doctor,I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
This joke is the best in this post, :D.
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile..... somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Date: 16 May 2002
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW....
Mr. Eric was walking around the form 3 block when he saw one of the form 3 class, 3'T', making noise. He entered the classroom and this is what happened....
Mr. Eric: Who was playing and talking please stand up or the whole class gets it.
Anand : "Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up"(Eminem)
Mr. Eric: You! I want you to come to my office now Office
Time: 0900 hrs
Mr.Eric: What Is Your name?
Anand : "Say My Name Say My Name"(Destiny's Child)
Mr.Eric: Don't play a fool
Anand : "Can't Believe I'm The Fool Again"(Westlife)
Mr.Eric: Do you want me to beat you ?
Anand : "Hit Me Baby One More Time"(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: What did u say?
Anand : "WHAT!"(Stone Cold)
Mr.Eric: Are you out of your head?
Anand : "I Can't Get U Outta My Head"(Kylie Minogue)
Mr.Eric: Who do you think you are ?
Anand : "I'm A Genie In Bottle"(Christina Aguilera)
Mr.Eric: How many demerits do you want?
Anand : "1,2,345,Everybody In The Car..."(Lou Bega)
Mr.Eric: Do you always play in class?
Anand : "Sometimes I Run, Sometimes I..."(Britney Spears)
Mr Eric: Do u think this is a party ?
Anand : "I'm Coming Up So U Better Get The Party Started"(Pink)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come for detention class tomorrow morning
Anand : "Every Morning They're A Hello..."(Sugar Ray)
Mr.Eric: I've just changed my mind. I want you to come everyday
Aanad : "Everyday I Love You"(Boyzone)
Mr.Eric: I want you to come alone
Anand : "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"(Backstreet Boys)
Mr.Eric: It gonna be the two of us
Anand : "Just The Two Of Us"(Will Smith)
Mr.Eric: Are you going to shut up or do you want me to stop talking
Anand : "You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing At All"(Ronan Keating)
Mr.Eric: I want you to promise me that you won't get into anymore trouble.
Anand : "This I Promise You"(N*sync)
Mr.Eric: Make Sure you don't get into trouble again
Anand : "Oops I Did It Again"(Britney Spears)
Mr.Eric: You can go now
Anand : "There She Goes"(Sixpence None The Richer)
Mr.Eric: I said go!
Anand : "Bye Bye Bye"(N*sync)
P.S: I think this joke's one of the best. Haha.
*******
> > > A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an
> > > oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.
> > >
> > > They then get to meet their maker, and because of
> > > the grief they have experienced; he decides to
> > > grant them one wish each before they enter
> > > Paradise.
> > >
> > > They're all lined up, and God asks the first one
> > > what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so
> > > God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second
> > > one in line hears this and says "I want to be
> > > gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and
> > > the wish is granted.
> > >
> > > This goes on for a while but when God is halfway
> > > down the line, the last guy in the line starts
> > > laughing. When there are only ten people left,
> > > this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his
> > > head off.
> > >
> > > Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him
> > > what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms
> > > down and says:
> > >
> > > "Make 'em all ugly again".
> > >
> > > SO...............................................
> > > THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE 'LAST IN LINE'..............
> > > CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***************
There was once a couple...The husband is
quite a
dumb person...
Wife : You wanna hav sex?
Husband : But we will hav a child...
Wife : We are married...
Husband : Oh yeah...So,you wanna use
condom?
Wife : But we are married...
Husband : Oh...Rite...
But the husband is too dumb to
understand...So,he went to a shop which sells
condoms...He brought with him $0.50...There
are
3 types of condoms...
1st type : White Condom($0.40)
2nd type : Black Condom($0.50)
3rd type : Glow-In-The-Dark Condom($0.60)
So,the husband decided to buy the Black
Condom which costs $0.50...But,while he was
away,his wife was raped by an Indian
man...So,when he got home,he did ble with his
wife...
After a month or so,they got a son...But 1
problem
is that the son is black like a
charcoal...Well,you
should know whose father it is...It's the Indian
man
who raped the man's wife...
The son was miserable because at school,he
was
always called blackie or charcoal...So,one
day,he
asked his mother...
Son : Mother,why am I so black??? Everyone
at
school calls me blackie and charcoal...
But the wife refused to answer anything...She
only
said to the boy to go and asked the
father...So,while the father was reading his
newspaper,the son asked...
Son :Father,Why am I so black???
Husband :Can you just shut up???!!!
But the son continued to annoy and irritate the
father...At last,the father shouted...
"IF I HAVE SPENT $0.60,YOU WILL BE
GLOWING IN THE DARK~!!!"
*****************
Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that.But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8.
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old lady : Doctor,I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
This joke is the best in this post, :D.
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile..... somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Date: 16 May 2002
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW....
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