* This is meant to be a joke.
WELCOME TO AIR INDIA!
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain PATEL ( Boniface )
Welcoming both seated and standing passenders on board Air India
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather
and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will
end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be
landing on your village!
Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standarads are
so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us
It is with pleasure, I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our
passenders have reached their destination
If our engines are too noisy for you, on the passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve
complimenntary DHARU and Wada pavw.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help
you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as
we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we
will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their movie will be
visible from the right side of the cabin window
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the
cabin in only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too cloase, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
can't fint a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will
explain hou to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
ENJOY AIR INDIA